How Many?

HOW MANY?

samutprakarn,thailand

22september2005

I couldn’t sleep last night….

Probably because I had a cup of coffee before I went to bed?

I tossed and turned throughout the night.

I couldn't help asking

How many...

....more nights like these

before I get used to the loneliness?

...more nights like these

before I learn to live alone - -

apart from the family that I left behind?

...more nights like these

before I finally decide to pack my bags and go back?

I am counting the days to March.

And it is only the 22^nd of September

How many.....

.....more border runs to make

before I finally get through the hoops of securing a work permit?

...more hours to teach English

to verbally challenged students?

...more 1-2 call phonecards to buy from 7-11?

...more hours to spend on the net on weekends?

...more forced and faked smiles to give

when my head swims in despair?

...more times will I get frustrated

Whenever I need to talk to someone

and he could not understand what I say?

...more times to travel to Bangkok from Samutprakarn

standing in the bus?

...more times to get down the next bus stop

because I got on the wrong bus?

...more times to ride motorcycles

to get to my apartment?

...more times to read Richard Bach’s “Illusions”?

...more times to almost burst out crying

when I see my children on the Yahoo webcam?

...more times to feel mushy

when I get email from friends?

...more times to feel the pangs of sadness

when I count days?

I couldn’t sleep last night

I did not even try to count sheep…….

......AND I KNOW IT IS NOT THE COFFEE